One Direction

   I'm  OUT OF SCHOOL, I GOT MY DEGREE! and now what? Ironically my head is pounded by a lot of questions and I can't get rid of one major answer that; Hey! I think I wanna get bumped with teachers and classmates again, I'm getting my master's degree!. 

    Not sure, I'm just one individual whose soul is lost  right now but I'm keeping my faith. I'm done with  my application letter and resume. I got documents to ponder after these holy week and in my head I have nothing else but to keep learning and growing. Its not about anyone anymore, Its not about felicitations no more.. 

  Its all  about me now.. I'm done with feeling all the lapses in my life and the people I can't be with.. psychologically its like thinking that every time my head aches or my heart does everyday, I try to feel how the rest of my body parts feel good. It's a sort of a relief. It's finding good things in bad circumstances. I know that one day prayers will be answered just like the rain that pours.

Sacred Blue Cenote

I'm trying to find anything a bit refreshing than the book of faces and youtube. To my hearts content, an article in wordpress.com wowed me.

The Sacred Blue cenote or Ik kil Cenote near Chichen Itza, Mexico. A cenote is an amazing magical sinkhole filled with fresh water.

Cenotes are created when the original limestone landscape of Yucatan Peninsula collapsed. 

Unfortunately for me, this scenery will forever be as far as 48 inches away from my computer screen and I may never really get to take my dive in this God’s given creation. Lot of blogs reiterated that this is another ideal place for swimming in the clear blue water.

196 feet wide, 130 feet deep, it is an open cenote about 85 feet from the surface. A grand stairway leads you down the steps into the water. Entrance is 70 pesos and it is open daily from 8am to 6pm. However, there are no lifeguards and life jackets available so it is definitely at your own risk. That being said, dozens of elementary-aged kids are still lucky enough diving the 20 foot cliff and swimming to their hearts’ content and I'm a bit jealous! 

I would trade one day of my life in exchange of being a child again whose jumping the same cenote over and over again.  Oh! Soul mate take me there! I may not mind getting drowned to a place I didn't even imagine to exist.  facts are copied in other blogs. This post is just another product of "my killing the time" phase of my life.  this is maybe much sane than stalking people in facebook just and enough till the last sip of my coffee. GET SOME LIFE PEOPLE! 

Back on My Feet

 You gave me all the chance to listen to you again again and again.. i just hope that sooner i'll be able to find the whole meaning of you. Bamboo-Back on My Feet. I can't find any lyrics in the net.. T_T

Glass

When your hurt, you can never tell how hurt you are.. they say; what you do not know won't hurt you,  I doubted... some would even just say whatever they would like to without knowing the degree of such words, it's not even out of hate but because we are only as fragile as glass and as weak as strong as we are.

Busy Getting Stronger

there's MORE to life than how I feel...

Breakeven

      I never thought of having so much pain out of giving so much joy. Weird, but for a flash of seconds I never had grudges out of hate but out of love. I could have written much intellectual entity than these absurd things inside my head. Ironically we license blame to others in receipt for afflictions but what we are missing, is the idea of getting ourselves in that kind of a situation in the first place, and if things goes inaccurately out of course, we run too fast and too soon before we realize that we’ve took a long way giving up our comfort zones the moment we let other people take hold of our own happiness.

Time can’t heal all wounds, reconciliation will.  Time will only give all sorts of space for not remembering the pain than letting go of the pain itself. Its 2 am and I can't find my own peace; what am I supposed to say when I’m all choke up and you’re okay, no wise words can stop the bleeding and some people have pondered to pray to a God that they don’t believe in because when a Heart breaks no they don't break even. 

Tinted Heart

So what’s up for this blog? Here we go again with another random thought. It can be better, it can be lame but I hope it won’t be worst.  So my day started fine, nothing much special or sweeping. Life can be so boring at times but we should not escape its monotonous tone, but so much of its annoying presence we find fleeting eases through sham laughter’s, it’s either I side-splittingly laugh, out of too much happiness, or lunacy is the only way of escaping too much pain. Choosing what you want in life is like choosing what you like to wear, you need to decide the degree of comfort from the degree of bizarre you would like to blend but some people prefer a lot of sophistication with their lifestyle and by doing so they forgot who they really are. You wear stilettos and hurt your own sole. 

Couple of days before, the sweet mist of morning did not wake me up in my bed instead, the throbbing of my heart, I had a few short breaths to take before I could breathe again, I struggled a cramping pain and so my distressing whining woke my mom beside me and we rush into the hospital. Though I myself is not convince of what I felt, the stunted cramping of my heart remains obscure for the last 6 months perhaps because I tried to veil every pain, as long as I can pretend that I don’t feel something inside and the whole thing flooded into my mind as I lay into that hospital bed with my mom and sister beside me, trying to ignore my agony, I kept flashing a smile to lessen their worries yet at the back of my head it felt like I am being fenced by a thief and I may not see them again by my heart’s next assault. Two  nurses and a couple of doctors were asking me things and they started to unbutton my shirt and started setting the ECG machine tubes, by that time I feel numb, my ears burning but my palms and soles cold. Then I began to recall memories of which I no longer remember not until that moment and people I’ve loved and learned to love were in motion pictures like slideshows in my mind.  It’s been so long since I cared for the woman I can see in front of the mirror, it’s been a while since I taught myself to be happy without waiting other people to help me so, and it’s been so long that I have been giving a lot of myself until nothing was left to me but the word’s left unsaid. Fatality comes in different forms and like bread we all have our own expiry date.